Everyone takes an individual path in life. Jared wound up getting a masters at Illinois in the same time it took me to get my undergrad. Culberskin went to Africa and caught a few parasites, possibly from Sudeb, though the cover story is it came from the continent. Corey moved to Texas with a woman he is now happily married to while Casey attends med school with his best-friend/study-mate/soul-mate, Sarah Lovinger. Then there are people like Sarah Edwards, which I ran into over Christmas break, working at the YMCA in Nevada. And I know I see Tanzy Metcalf and Josh Sumner around, but not together, to avoid any rumors that might arise from that last sentence. (By the way, what normal person names their daughter “Tanzy”. Tanzy? Say it out loud and stare at the word, I think you’ll understand my issues with the word.) My point is, who really knows what could have happened had circumstances been a little different. I’m sure if we were stuck in Nevada, we’d end up with jobs at the fire station, Movie Gallery, or even Wal-Mart, leading much different lives.
The reason why I’m thinking about this right now is because someone (Derek Ozkal) mentioned what my life would be like if I had stuck around. It was startling, but possibly true. He said I would have worked odd jobs around town, climbing the ladder to eventually become the mayor. I could only dream of such an honor being enshrined along the likes of Lynn Ewing 3 and Nate Westly’s mom. Essentially, mayor of Nevada is the pinnacle of jobs that don’t pay well but sound slightly prestigious to those who don’t know exactly where Nevada is. But if I stayed in Nevada, it’s just as likely that others my age, who are exploring the world right now, might have as well. This is how I see it all going down:


Darcy Hertzburg: Following a path very similar to her parents, Darcy took over the reigns of Perfect Touch. You know she would have been the talk of the town after The Operation, though, rather than the talk of the Nevada Internet Community.

Denton Thomas: “Uh, guys, I’m going to Wal-Mart. Can I get you anything? Bee-boop.” Denton is our jack-of-all-trades. Starting his own internet company with Jared on the side, Denton spends 2-3 years teaching high school band/computer tech classes, as well as teaching at the Crowder College. It’s probably needless to say, but he and Hillier end up happily/unhappily married.

Hillier: See above.

CJ Hayes: Not sure where this kid is now, but you can rest assured that he’d be found at every high school basketball game cheering on his son CJ3-PO. To his left, Tyler Jones, and to his right, Ryan Russ. Welcome back, guys. Meet you at Echo’s after the game.

Joe Bradley: After completion of medical school, (not even in a fantasy can Joey not be a doctor) Joey returns home to start his own practice with friend/ally Casey Williams. Unfortunately, after years of working together, the partnership ends bitterly because of a woman.

Casey Williams: He seemed to have it all with Joe, but the heart of a woman tore it all to pieces. Nonetheless, Casey and Sarah Lovinger-Williams are outstanding members of the community, participating fully in the development of the next pool and second racket ball court at the YMCA. It’s all gravy once Warren G hands over the practice to the new son-in-law.

Robert Clark: Some things never change. Still the sexiest man in Nevada and still living in the house on North Washington, Robert works at the Pump House and invites the ladies over to watch “videos” and talk about how one can take and hit stuff.

Randy DeLaney: Resides in Roberts garage. Looks like Larry more than ever.

Jared Hoberock: Working along side Denton at their internet company, Thomrock, Inc. is thriving, but Jared still isn’t happy. Fortunately, Jared lands a job writing a weekly article in the Nevada Daily Mail, kind of like Joanna Bradley, but worth reading. Unfortunately, no one in Nevada knows what Gundam is and everyone believes that The New Pornographers is some kind of perverted feature coming to The Daily. He loses his job and instead must be content with an internet start up company and working overnights twice a week at the Comfort Inn.

Dan Jones: Well, remember the movie, The Wizard with Fred Savage. Dan kind of ends up like that, only 35. He does, however, marry his lifetime love, Lauren. She gets really good at video games too, but unlike Dan, goes outside to enjoy the warm sun on her skin.

Derek Ozkal: The man who inspired this entire blog entry has to reside in Nevada. Taking over his father’s professor position at Cottey College, Derek makes a name for himself as the ladies man. Eventually marrying a Cottey Chick, Derek finds contentment and piece of mind in the least likely place he ever thought, Nevada.

Viola Holman, Ryan Masters, Brian Pittman, Tonya Yurk, Jeremy Bumbaugh, Evan Headly, Buddy Meyers, and Celeste Mason all stayed in Nevada, carving out lives as factory works, fast food franchise owners, city employees, house wives, teachers, and clergy. No one saw it coming, but they all lived happily ever after.



PS. If I do ever run for Mayor of Nevada, I hope I’m assassinated so I get a building, a day, and a scholarship named after me. Plus I’ll be the most remembered Mayor ever, kind of like Kennedy, but on a local level.