Although I’ve never seen this so called S.E.R.D. site, I have heard terrible things about it. It appears that sites not updated very often are likened to this site. Again, as all Baptists, I’m slow to judge, that’s just who I am. I can only imagine what the owner of S.E.R.D. must be like.
In an effort to avoid being S.E.R.Dswiped, I am posting.

On Roommates:

Dan

The first man of my life that I drove away was Dan. A good lad from good breeding. We most often found ourselves confined to our concrete brick dorm room playing Tetris. And for whatever reason we both thought it’d be super cool to have a Star Wars room. I’m not talking a few posters, either. I mean, all the toys that were currently out (from episode one, which sucked), lots of posters, 6’ stand ups, collector beer stein, soap dispensers, matching bed sets. I’ll say it again, matching bed spread sets…Over the top? Dorky? Yeah, you could say so.
We once had a mandatory dorm meeting at a very incontinent time of day. We wanted to see Fight Club but were supposedly denied the chance because of the previously named meeting. We decided that we’d make a run for it sometime durning the meeting. So, when we required to stand up and practice our dorm cheer for homecoming, we fled the building, sprinting across the lawn and to my car. What a great movie.
Then there’s the time we ordered Victoria’s Secret catalogs to every single person in our dorm. We hoped to reveal the Secret, but shot down by the powers that be. Still, some guys got their copy and were happy. No one ever found out we were guilty.
He was quirky, I was annoying. We got along pretty well but were both just fine with living across the hall from each other in singles the next semester.


Jared

The second man of my life was the Jared. Living in the ghetto of Columbia was great, really. You see, for Columbia, the ghetto is pretty mild, but spicy enough to have some excitement. Our house was uneven, we had so very little heat, and lived next door to a half-way house. But we didn’t need much.
Jared was a great roommate, probably because everyone in the house had enough room to be alone or to be together. Every morning he’d walk through my room with frumpy hair in his boxers and sandals with a towel around his neck. I knew he was in his shower when he’d hack up all this excess phlegm acquired though the night. Somewhere in our time together he took to wearing a yellow bandana in a way that did not flatter his masculinity. Hillier wanted me to say something to him about it, but nay. It was not to be. On of the parts about Jared occurred after he’d had several drinks of the alcohol. It was at this point that he’d being speaking in made up languages and threatening Erin, often with physical violence. Ah, glory days.
We also once plotted together to freak Hillier and Denton out. He pretended to a man upstairs and screamed, “What the f**k!” waking everyone up. I ran down the stairs as if I were the criminal/ghost. I then claimed I chased whatever it was out the door and into the bathroom.
Freaked Hillier out. Mission accomplished.


Alright, I’m tired of typing. Hillier and Denton will be next. And brother, you don’t want to miss their stories. Talk about freaks!

I hope you enjoyed, and I hope I avoid the S.E.R.D. Sounds narsty.