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Day 4 - Books

Some of my best friends have been books.

Day 3 - Something New

I was able to christen the kitchen in our new apartment. I love my kitchen.

Day 2 - Favorite Food

I realize my soup doesn't look amazing, but just take a bite. It's awesome.

Day 1 - Smile

I first saw this challenge on Pinterest and thought it sounded like fun. Normally I wouldn't do this kind of silly thing but I feel inspired, at least for the time being. There is an order according to the official challenge but I'm not planning on following it. Instead, I'm going to photograph each of the 30 in no particular order.

Dear S.E.R.D.,

I struggle even now with the word. My mouth is dry and my hands are sweaty, almost like the spit that was in my mouth is now pasted to my hands. I have a minor confession to make and it isn't easy. So here goes.

A seductive mistress caught my eye. She's a classy gal named Tumblr and I've been seeing her for a few days now. I know what you're thinking. You think this means the end of you and me, don't you S.E.R.D.? Well, you're a silly little kitten for thinking something so foolish. If anything, this new relationship, this ménage à trois, has only heightened my desire to write more blog updates.

So here's to you, you silver vixen. Here is to our seven years together.

http://mikewomack.tumblr.com/

Oh, uh, that's the address to my new blog. I didn't think you'd mind, S.E.R.D.

I remember when I was a child, looking up into the sky and counting the number of jet streams.  Even in rural Missouri it was common to see two or three long white tales of smoke streaking the blue sky.  I think of those memories with innocence because, as a child, innocence was all I really knew.  Missouri, and the USA as a whole, were thousands of miles away from any potential foreign danger.  

So this week, when I heard a jet flying overhead, I didn't give the sound more than a second's thought.  But the students sitting in front of me hadn't grown up miles away from danger.  When I'd look up into the sky in wonder and excitement, children here looked up into the sky in anticipation and fear.  Was this just any jet flying overhead or was it here to cause destruction?

The students sitting in front of me rushed to the window to locate the noise.  Was this a good or bad jet?  The students sitting in front of me have grown up with war.  Syria, to the north and east, and Israel, to the south, have regularly invaded Lebanon for the past thirty years.  A jet isn't beautiful here.  A jet mens destroyed homes, canceled schools, lost family members.

So I gave them a few seconds to scan the sky and then to take their seats again.  While they reassured themselves that everything was alright, I prayed that they were correct.  While bombs have gone off in surrounding countries recently, Lebanon has experienced almost a full year without fighting.  Old war wounds (mental and physical) have begun to heal.  And although time does heal all wounds, there are almost always scars as reminders.  I believe it's equally as important to pray for the scar as it is the wound.  

Peace/Salaam

Mike

Thank you Facebook...

1.  I'm not thrilled Facebook has become the new forum for email surveys.  Originally I'd suggested copying and pasting that as numbers 1 through 25 of my list.  Inexplicably, I feel drawn to participate while simultaneously hating myself.  

2.  When I'm teaching and I'm getting to some critical point in the lesson, I speak to my students with a dramatic, poignant phrase as depicted in movies.

3.  I often pretend my life is a movie and that I'm an actor on stage.  I'd totally watch my movie.

4.  I'm unbelievably happy when I'm with Deanna.  I'd rather be with her than anyone.  I'm rarely as happy doing anything else than spending time with her.  I absolutely love being married.

5.  I feel guilty when I don't prepare well for my students.  And then when they misbehave because the lesson sucks, I get angry at them which isn't fair.  

6.  I love reading.  I try to average a book a week but normally can't keep up with that pace.  I used to have a problem with buying too many books.  Every time I read a book I feel like I have a relationship with it and I must own it.  That got pretty expensive.  Enter Public Library.

7.  I wish I could apologize to all the kids I made fun of when I was younger.  I made fun of them to make myself feel better because I was a loser myself.  I'm sure they don't remember now, but I do.  WHen I see them back home, usually at Wal-Mart, I turn down the nearest aisle.  I pretty much become a coward.

8.  Middle school was miserable.  I was fattish, awkward, and cared too much about what others thought of me.  If I could time travel, I'd go back to when I was 12 and convince myself to be myself.  And if I wouldn't listen to me, I'd beat myself up.  

9.  I have never read the entire Bible and I think that's terrible.  I"m attempting to correct that now.  

10.  I hope to own a bookstore in the near future.  I've thought of a few names and themes.  But I don't know a lot about running a business and I'm not one to stress.  (see number 21)

11.  I would simultaneously like to run an orphanage/children's home.

12.  I love cooking and I'm not a bad baker.

13.  Probably because I'm a little OCD, I like to condense items and check off/mark though/delete lists.  If we have two half-full shakers of parsley, I can barely contain myself when I can combine them.  I'm exhilarated when the last of the ketchup/milk/flour/other product is used up.  Heaven to me is when we have used everything in the refrigerator and need to buy more of it.

14.  I love traveling.  If I could, I'd take a few years off and hike through Europe, Africa, and Asia.  Sorry South America.

15.  I believe anyone opposed to abortion should be required to adopt a child.  I hope to adopt at least one child.  So many kids need homes and loving parents.  We can provide both.

16.  I've written part of a novel that I think is really good.  But writer's block has set in and I can't seem to shake it.  Probably it will never be published.

17.  Every parent says they hope their children are more successful than themselves.  I disagree with that in part.  I'd rather my children be happier than me, and I'm pretty happy.  If they're happier, they're more successful.

18.  One of my most favorite things to do in the world is to read a book out loud to Deanna.  I could read to her all day.

19.  I wold gladly trade 10 pounds of steak for a pint of Halo's Cookies and Creme Ice cream.  It's really good ice creme.

20.  I don't think you can trust people above the age of 12 who don't like dogs.  Those people are shady.  I also don't trust people who refuse to eat the skin on baked potatoes.

21.  I can count on one hand the number of times in my life that I have truly been stressed out.

22.  I used to pretend my body was a super-hero conduit/host.  I'd run around the yard fighting imaginary bad guys and shout, "Superman, we need you!" and Superman would appear.  Minutes later, "Ant Man!  We need you!"  Then Ant Man came out.  "Ghost Rider..."

23.  I think I'll live to be 86 years old.  The average of my grandparents was about 81.  And the way I figure it, medicine will grant me a couple extra years to kick around.  So that puts me just out of reach of 87.  And I'm not about to go out in a cold month because (1.) I hate cold weather and (2.) I'm a pretty thoughtful guy and don't want to make people stand outside in winter.

24.  People who refuse to acknowledge that other view points other than their own could be possible drive me insane, specifically relating to politics.

25.  I carry out full conversations in my head that might possibly happen the next time I see a person.  

Update.

Do you know those cushy circular family tables at restaurants that are usually in the corners of like, Pizza Hut or McDondal’s?  Right, I was sleeping on one of those tables in the Dublin Airport by myself when all the sudden I heard the distinctive sound, “thud thud, flop flop flop, thud thud, flop flop flop”.  Somewhat awakened, I peek my eyes out from under my hat to discover two strangers sitting on either side of me playing cards.  But not just any cards, they’re playing Magic: The Gathering.  Awesome.  For about ten seconds I truly believed I was back at Hillcrest High School, having just woken up from a nap between rounds on a Saturday morning.  It was frightening.  

 

So they still think I’m asleep but really I’m watching/analyzing what’s going on and praying to the Good Lord not to be molested.  I had two very quick assessments.  First, they are both clearly German.  Second, they are both clearly virgins.

 

Let me try to describe these guys a little more.  The one on my left looked very much like what the offspring of Gollum and Jon Lee’s love child might look like.  Long, blonde, stringy, greasy hair.  He had a narrow face and a very scruffily beard.  I didn’t ask, but he probably only uses hygiene products sold at the Hy-Vee next door to his local comic book store. 

 

The guy to my right was “portly” to say the least.  Unlike the Gollum love child to my left, this one clearly owned a razor as away apparent by the razor burn all over his face.  But that were hardly noticeable compared to his less than flattering Buddy Holly glasses. 

I decided to make a bold move and remove my hat from my head in an effort to scare off my new table friends.  But they didn’t even look at me.  And so we sat, the three of us, for about 15 minutes.  We all pretended I didn’t exist.  And I was okay with that.  Finally I excused myself from the table which clearly bothered them because Portly had to get out of his seat to let me out.

 

At the time, my camera was in Deanna’s purse which was across the food court.  But about an hour or so later, I plucked up enough courage to sneak a picture of me friends.  I thought I was out of luck at first because they had moved seats but I was able to track them down.  Unfortunately I only got one shot before someone else sat down in the way.  So this picture is the best I could produce.  I’m not sure all the Pixels in the world could do justice to the Gollum.

Update:  The picture won't upload but check back later.  Trust me, it's worth it.

May the manna feed you, the fire keep you warm, and enough wood to make weapons and lands for all future attacks.  Knock twice when your move is complete.  

I like food.  Maybe that's the best way to preface this entry.

About four months ago, Deanna and I went to Cheeburger, Cheeburger, a new eatery here in Princeton.  For those of you who've never had the privilege/horror of eating at said establishment, Cheeburger, Cheeburger resembles a Sake n Shake and serves basically the same menu.

So we're sitting in our little booth checking out the menu we I notice the Cheeburger, Cheeburger challenge.  "The Pounder".  Actually, it's 20 ounces, not 16.  But it wouldn't matter if it was 40 ounces, it was an eating challenge and I'm all about eating challenges.  The reward wasn't truely great, either.  A picture of the eater and a giant foam burger would be hung on the wall of fame for all to see.  Sign.  Me.  Up.

So I'm eating the burger and doing pretty well.  You know, making a mess, cheese and bun sliding off one side, ketchup spilling all over the plate, rings of onions and lettuce mangled from my greasy fingers.  But I chocked down all 20 ounces, finish off my order of onion rings and drank my lemonade.  A few minutes later the waiter notices I've made a pig of myself and brings over the giant foam burger and camera to fulfill his end of the obligation.  I couldn't have been happier.

Then he calls for the attention of everyone in the restaurant to look at me and my bloated self.  I wasn't counting on public humiliation while still in the diner.  That wasn't in the agreement.  That stipulation doesn't appear on the menu, and believe me, I looked.  I'm fine with my picture being my legacy, but not so cool with the immediate attention.  All I could do was sheepishly grin and try to hide behind the foam tomato and lettuce.

BUT, my mug shot can now be found on the wall at Cheeburger, Cheeburger of Princeton.

This would have been equally funny had it been about Obama or Clinton.  It just happens to be about McCain.  In any case, a sad excuse for a post.  Stay tuned, though.  The next post includes me, an eating contest/challenge, and a giant foam hamburger! 

Warning:  This post is not intended for guys who I knew in high school...or maybe even guys I know now.

Yesterday was April 11.  While that doesn't mean anything to you other than it was a Friday, this is Saturday, and you've loved to see one more day, it does mean something to me.  And Deanna.  On April 11, 1998, Deanna and I first started dating.  Granted, it was only for three months, then we broke up for about nine months before getting back together for the long haul minus three months.  But yesterday marked the beginning of what we have now and, God willing, what we'll have for a while.

Here is a list of cool things D and I have done together since we've been married.  At least, I think they're cool.  Note, this list does not include the small things we do everyday, like reading together, cooking, going on adventurous walks...

Served as mission leaders in Mexico for a summer.

Taught English and volunteered in Palestine.

Hiked up a mountain (or at least a very large hill) in Scotland.

Road-tripped through the U.S. and camped along the way.

Slept in a desert with some Bedouins.

Hiked on the Appalachian Trail.

Vacationed to the Coliseum and Rome.

Road some waves in the ocean.

Floated in the Dead Sea, swam in the Sea of Galilee 

Snorkeled/scuba-dived in the Read Sea and slept on the beach.

Hiked in the deserts of New Mexico and Arizona

Camped outside Niagara Falls, then walked under it.

Snuck into Switzerland illegally.

Explored ancient Egypt.

Visited medieval castles in Europe.

Worked at a Christian bookstore in the Old City of Jerusalem.

What makes all these things listed above even better is that we did them together, just Deanna and me.

That's really it.  I'll try to post again soon.  But my track record shows it might be several months.  Sorry to the few people who read this.

Okay, first let me say, I know I haven't posted in, oh...six months.  But the past is the past.  So anyway, here we go:

I spent about 2 hours on the Barack Obama website today creating a profile and searching groups and looking up events.  I've spent uncounted hours watching CNN's "Ballot Bowl".  I find myself thumbing through the paper looking for news on the election.

This is new to me.  I've never felt the need to follow politics so closely.  I think I normally feel like either way the political decision goes, it's not going to really matter all that much to me. 

No matter who I support, they aren't really representing what I believe in.  But for some reason, I find myself really believing that things CAN be different.  That a chance like this may not come around again for another 40 years.  Maybe even stranger, I find this election very personal to me.  So much that I would feel REALLY depressed if Obama did not receive the nomination.  Again, this is new to me.

So, here I am, posting a blog entry on a political candidate for a party I don't completely agree with, in a political system I don't completely believe in.  Before this year I was a cynic.  But I'm enjoying this breath of fresh air.

Thanks, Barack.

I've Got Antz In My Pantz!

I have no problem dealing with most annoyances here in Palestine. For example, it doesn’t bother me all that much that “Palestinian Time” can mean any time from five to fifty-five minutes late. I got used to this in Mexico.

I can even deal with the trash issue. It being that 95% of all trash ends up on the ground rather than in a trash bin or dumpster. It annoys me that people leave whatever garbage in their hand to fall onto the ground to be blown away into the street. This is their home, not mine. And I can handle it.

And sure, I think it looks pretty ugly to post ten of those 2’x1’ posters with pictures of “martyrs”, political candidates, and advertisements for hand crème on the front of every building. They typically fade in color after just a few weeks but hang for a few years. But whatever. It’s not really that big of a deal.

One might ask, “Aren’t cold showers kind of annoying.” And one might respond, “Yes, yes they are.” But after three months of mostly cold showers in Mexico, of heating water on the stove to be poured on my head from a plastic cup…this isn’t such a big deal.

And the apparent lack of pencils and pens that my ESL students have every day really isn’t much different than the lack of pencils and pens that my regular students back home seem to have.

But the one problem that I can’t seem to ignore, the one annoyance that grates on my very last nerve, that tries my patients are the ants. Please, let me explain.

I can live with ants, alright. That’s not the problem here. The real problem is not just that we have ants sometimes, but that we have different kinds of ants in different room at different times.
First, we have the Bedroom Ants. This variety flies and bites and seems to travel in groups of about ten. They also seem to only live during the first two weeks of July. Only found between the hours of 3pm and 6am, this breed then mysteriously disappears or we manage to smash them. If I haven’t mentioned it already, they are only in the bedroom and I don’t think they would dream of flying to the bathroom or kitchen. That’s not their turf. Which brings us to species two.

The Kitchen Ants. Almost naked to the human eye, this docile ant only roams the reflective metallic counter-top of our kitchen area. These guys are quite possibly the smallest bug I have ever seen. Similar to the Bedroom Ant, the Kitchen Ant travels in groups of about ten. They seem to like the weather a little bit hotter than there cousins, the Bedroom Ants. They typically appear the last nine days of July and the first three of August. And then, poof, they’re gone. Either smashed by my thumb or migrated elsewhere. Now, you might be asking yourself, “Why doesn’t he clean the kitchen! Leave no crumb behind! Starve the little buggers!” “Well, my friend,” I might reply, “I wash the counter with soap every night. We eat over places that are washed within minutes of food usages. We soak every inch of our metallic counter top with water and some greenish detergent!” And still they come. (Or came, since they are no longer with us.)

The final ant found in our tiny apartment is called the Poop Ant. He is so called because Pube Ant is too gross and Bathroom Ant is too boring. The Poop Ant is your garden variety American chap. He is slightly larger than the Kitchen Ant, slightly smaller than the Bedroom Ant. The Poop Ant has appeared only once on August 4th but in larger numbers. The Poop Ant seems to love Deanna’s soap and can be seen carrying little specks of it from her soap dish, down the side of the tub and over the pink towel we use as a floor mat. I’m sure you are wondering why the Poop Ant is fond of Deanna’s particular soap and not mine. Perhaps her variety is not available in the ant’s convenience store. Or maybe they are unable to get the ant sized amounts that would be necessary to bathe with. I haven’t the foggiest. Maybe you’re wondering why the Poop Ant isn’t interested in the types of things that the Kitchen ant or Bedroom ant is interested in. Again, not the foggiest. But you can be certain that the only bath the Poop Ant took was a blood bath. I smashed each little guy with my thumb/pointer combination. Like rolling a booger.

So to review:

Bedroom Ant: First two weeks of July
Kitchen Ant : Last nine days of July and first three of August
Poop Ant: One day only, the fourth day of August.


The ants are the tipping point, as it were. I don’t expect another other verities. We only have the three rooms. And ant turf seems like a pretty outlined and detailed business ala Crips and Bloods.

Hodge-Podge…or Potpourri, if you like that better.

As I mentioned in my previous post, we’re in Palestine. So you’d think there might be tons of exciting things to write about. And I’m sure there is. But I can’t think of any single story that is worthy of an entire post. Or at least not one that I feel like typing.

So in the spirit of Alex Trebek and Jeopardy, (He’s huge over here) I present a Hodge-Podge/Potpourri category of random stuff.

1. My deodorant is aluminum and paraben FREE!

2. A few weeks back while watching Deanna play soccer with some other ladies here in Palestine, I shouted, “I want to see blood!” Now…honestly, from my side I was joking. That being said, I can see how this sort of statement in such an environment that people live in here could be taken the wrong way. In any case, as I shouted this, one of the ladies turned when I said this and, WACK! The ball smashed into the side of her head. The kicker was a former soccer player for one of the high school teams here and the kick was extremely hard. At about that time I looked for a whole to crawl into. On the outside, I felt terrible. But on the inside I was cracking up.3. During one of the English classes that I’m teaching here, the vocabulary word “sad” was learned. I asked several students to use this word in a sentence as I did other words such as excited, relieved, tired…But as I asked this particular student when the last time she was sad was, she said in her broken English, “Yesterday, when my Grandmother died.” I believe, “oh” was my response. I mean, where do you go from there?

4. I have become particularly good at bartering. In fact, I find it quite fun.

5. El mundo está quemando. That’s the phrase that was often used in Mexico to describe the weather. I believe the same words could be used to describe the current weathering conditions here in the last three days.

6. I have read 36 of my 52 books for the year. In case I didn’t mention it at an earlier time, my New Year’s resolution is to read 52 books during this calendar year, an average of one per week. Thirty-six books puts me at September 8th, or something like that. I’m excited.

Peace. Salaam. Shalom.

Seven days...thirty seven days...let's call it even.

Okay, now I understand how bad this looks. And honestly, I fully intended to post seven days after my last post. But I got busy and didn't. I meant to post once about Danny and once leading upto our summer in Palestine. But as you all know, the road to Hell...

Anyway. We're here in Palestine and I don't know how often I'll be able to update my blog. But hopefully once in a while. I actually have more free time but less computer access. So we will see. And in case you don't know, Deanna and I will be teaching English here until August 15. Then we're going on our real vacation to Egypt for 9 days and then Rome for 5. It should be a really good time.

I can't really think of anything funny that's happened so far. And even if I could it probably wouldn't be very funny to read. Hince the title of this Blog.

I guess that's it.

Bye.l

I realize that I haven’t posted in a month. Nothing. Not even a post about poo or the smell of poo. And for that, I am sorry. Instead, I promise to have a real update in the next 7 days. I promise.

In the mean time, I offer this short little story and link:

http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/10848

This is one of my favorite websites. It’s basically facebook or myspace for book nerds. You can tell others what you’re reading, rate books, see other people’s reviews, add to your own collection. It’s incredibly dorky. And I love it.
I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this or not, but my New Year’s Resolution is to read 52 books this year. You can track my progress on this site, if you want. OR, you can leave a comment lambasting my last of substantial updates.

Remember Matt Murray? Remember how he had a huge head? Yeah, I saw a kid tonight who would put Matt's head to shame.

Consequently, this is what I would look like if I had a giant head. Not a pretty picture.

I’m typing this post in the library because I am blown away by the events that have just developed.

Let me say this first. Princeton is pretty much the most “posh” town you could live in. Nearly everyone here (except for us and our neighbors) is rich. Probably because they are all somehow associated with the university or one of the major companies in the neighborhood. In any case, most of the people here are kind of upscale.

Now, I’m in the library, squatting in the Ka-Le Fiction section looking for something to check out when I hear this noise. I hear, very distinctly, a fart. Not a toot or a small plop, but a Fart with a capitol F. It was a long, drawn out burst. I’d compare it to an ungreased door opening up. But it was a fart, not a door. My first reaction is to fall on my knees and out of the squatting position because everyone knows what can come from squatting. But it wasn’t me. I swear. And I don’t want others to think it’s me. I looked around but couldn’t make out the culprit. Could have been the guy over in the Be-Ch row. So I go on and ignore it.

A minute later, I hear another Fart. But maybe this one had a little less umph. But still a notable break of wind. And again I search for the guilty party. However, at this point, everyone in the area fled the scene.

I think now, for the next twenty minutes or so, I’m going to walk around the library looking for the Farter. I kind of want to believe that it’s the old man. He looked a little sheepish. I wonder if I can get in close enough for a smell…I have to go because I only have 2 minutes left on this computer. Wish me luck.

I must admit that I’ve been reading a lot of fantasy novels and watching Hero’s lately. I divulge this information as a preface to this entry. Probably it plays a big part in my thinking as of late.

I think I have a super power. You know, something beyond the normal human limits. In the world of comic books, I suppose I’d be considered a “mutant”. But I feel that mutant is such an unkind word for an ability that I cannot control and/or help. The word carries a certain connotation and prejudice that I’d rather avoid. I never asked for my ability, it just is.

I think I first realized that I had this ability when I was younger. I knew what I was capable of, even did it on several occasions. But the full weight of my “gift”, as I prefer to call it, never hit me until today, about fifteen minutes ago. I realize this “gift” will shock, nay, surprise even my closest friends and allies. And I understand that I might lose a few friends, people that I might once have called brother, sister, amigo. But God didn’t give me “the gift” just to make me comfortable. No, no. I have a job to do, and I plan to use my talent to its absolute fullest.

Before I reveal to you, my loyal reader, (I know there is only one left whom I call loyal) the true nature of my gift, I want to first offer a warning. You might want to sit down for this one. But then again, the odds on favorite says that since you’re at your computer, you’re probably already sitting. What I am about to reveal will first sock and then awe you. It’s just human nature. And please, don’t be jealous. I never asked for this. It just is.

I believe…no, I know my “mutation”, my “talent”, my “gift” is rare. I discovered it in the most unlikely of places – the bathroom. You see, during my break from work I visited said bathroom to relieve myself. Not the gross kind. Not a number two. It was a number one. Wait, that doesn’t do the deed any justice. IT was a number one. After unzipping my pants and removing my unit from the confines of my boxers, I sprayed a spray that would make most water fountains blush. I released a stream of fluid stronger than most water pipes deliver. I made the flow of water from a fireman’s hose look like a slow but steady drip.

You are probably asking yourself, “But how is that a super human power. Where is the mutation, the “gift”…what is unnatural about the cycle of waste from the human body traversing through the urethra?”
See, if you had waited just a few seconds more you would have discovered that as I jettisoned my waste into the shinny white bowl, I spied a brown stain of poo. It was more than just residue, my friend. It was a piece of diarrhea clinging to porcelain for dear life. It looked to be about five, maybe ten minutes old. It was already starting to solidify. Probably it would have taken a a Brillo pad to remove the fend. Enter Super Urine. (That’s my Super Human name.) I looked upon the poo with disdain. I sized up the matter and without even thinking, I attacked with ferocity.

And it was good.

I removed the couplet, literally, single handedly…honestly with just a thumb, pointer and index fingers. I’m pretty sure I could have removed two or three stains with the stream of hot mess emanating from my bowels.

Try not to be jealous.

Sometimes I surprise even myself for dorkiness. I thought I gave this kind of thing up in high school.

I saw this on Joanna’s Facebook and tried it even though I could really use a nap and have 22 finals to grade, lesson plans to prepare, and reading for my class tonight. So naturally I’m procrastinating. Anyway, here is my waste of time:


1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question.

What does next year have in store for me?
"Glorius Day" by Weezer

What does your love life look like?
"Lonesome Tears" - Beck

What do I say when life gets hard?
"Go" – Pearl Jam

What do I think of when I get up in the morning?
"Off He Goes" – Pearl Jam

What song will I dance to at my wedding?
"Gravity" – John Mayer

What do you want to do for your career?
"Something Happened" – Jeremy Erickson…doesn’t really work.

Your favorite saying?
"Amy Hit the Atmosphere" – Counting Crows

Favorite place?
"Next To You" – Tim Easton...I couldn't make this up.

What do you think of your parents?
"Chance for the Cancers" – Poor Old Lu

Where would you go on a first date?
"Peace the Fuck Out" – Travis….works if Fuck is a verb

Drug of choice?
"Sweet Adeline" – Elliott Smith

Describe yourself.
"Elderly Woman Behind a Counter in a Small Town" – Pearl Jam...revealing.

What is the thing I like doing most?
"Hard to Imagine" – Pearl Jam

What is my state of mind like at the moment?
"Julianne" – Ben Folds Five...well they can’t all be perfect

How will I die?
"Without Resolve " – Jeremy Erickson

The song that will be played at your funeral?
"Indifference" – Pearl Jam

The song you'll put as the subject?
"I Will Bow" – Enter The Worship Circle

The song that describes my friendships?
"Lose You" – Pete Yorn

The song that describes my future marriage?
"Solitude"- Billie Holiday…how depressing

The song that describes my future children?
"I’m Gonna Find Another You" – John Mayer…he’s a sissy

The song that describes what this summer will be like?
"Domino" – Van Morrison

The song that describes what people think of me?
"Marching Bands of Manhattan" – Death Cab for Cutie...Manhattan is close to Princeton

The song that describes how I will do in school?
"What I say and What I mean" – The Like

The song that describes how nice of a career I'll have?
"If I Had A $1,000,000r" – Barenaked Ladies

The song that describes my personality?
"In The Drink" – Barenaked Ladies

Tell me if you think this is mean.

I told a student that he had a mistake on his Sudoku puzzle when he really didn’t. Apparently being a teacher means never telling a lie and he thought he could trust me. And of course he believed me when I told him he’d made two mistakes. He then spent the next ten minutes trying to figure out what he’d done wrong. I could see he was growing frustrated and decided to tell him I was joking by showing him this blog entry. He didn’t laugh as much as I did.

I love being a teacher.

Has anyone else seen this shirt?

While waiting at the airport in Chicago, a slightly heavy-set woman passed me wearing this same shirt. And I couldn't help but lock on my eyes on her "ta-tas". And not for any sexual reason at all. But because of the shirt. I think I can honestly say this is the best/funniest t-shirt I've ever seen. In fact, this shirt makes me want to support breast cancer research even more. And I assume that was the original purpose of the shirt. I'm pretty sure the ta-ta shirt turned a lot of heads during the day. And when I googled "Save the ta-tas", I found an entire site for the shirt. This is some bloody brilliant marketing.

But I guess I'm a little late the concept. It seems that Fran Dresher, Kate Beckinsale, Jessica Alba, and Mario Lopez already hopped on the bandwagon. Oh well. It's new to me.

Does anyone else have a problem with Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure being played on AMC? Cause it was playing on AMC two nights ago. I mean, is it really an American Movie Classic on par with Casablanca or Mr. Smith Goes To Washington?

I also find it funny that rottentomatoes.com gave it a 100% fresh raiting. Maybe that's how it made it on AMC.

After talking to Derek online for a little bit, I decided at his suggestion that I should make a top 10 High School Memories List. As a disclaimer, I should explain that I actually don’t know if these memories are top 10 material or not, they just happen to be the funny things I remember off the top of my head. So without further ado, and in no particular order,


1. Debate Class. Derek Ozkal and I were sitting next to each other while Nice lectured. I farted a silent fart. Derek looked at me, knowing I’m guilty, and we both broke into uncontrollable laughter. Nice was annoyed and asked us what we’re laughing so heartedly at. In between laughing, Derek manages, “The…bird…hahaha…just flew….haha…into the window….” Nice bough the excuse and proceeded with class. We continued to laugh.


2. Everyday at lunch, Mr. Beshore would flirt with the freshman girls and everyone saw it. It was both annoying and disgusting. Perhaps most disturbing was the fact that he flirted with “The Flower” to whom a group of friends vowed to protect. (To protect the identities of the involved parties, I will disguise names.) Pan made a bumper sticker with the words “Pedophile” printed in nice, bold lettering. After watching the movie Payback at the Fox Theater, Pan, Joss, Roberto, Ransy, and I visited Mr. Beshore’s house. We quickly placed the bumper sticker on his car and fled. The next day the bumper sticker was no longer on Beshore’s car. In addition, Mr. Beshore steered clear of the freshman girls.

3. Mr. Daut made up bring in music for the class to listen to…not sure why. Anyway, at the time I was really into Korn and decided it was a good idea to play All In The Family. Of course there were a lot of curse words which were not allowed in class. So whenever a curse word came up, Dan and Casey would loudly cough to cover up the word. Eventually, half the class would cough to cover up the words. We were a well oiled machine by accident. Included in the memory I’ll also add my scribe notes memory….essentially the class log for the day. I was the last person to present the scribe notes and had to present them in some original manner. So I choose Sanitary Tissue, aka, “bleed pads.” Each note was written on a different pad. Again, Richard was without words.

4. My first high school play was Greetings. It was directed by Mr. Daut and stared Adam Bauer. Enough said, really. But I’ll say more. During the dinner scene, we’re all gathered around the table “eating.” We used real food that was cooked hours earlier. It was cold and probably never tasted good. Anyway, Hillier was also in the play and acted as my wife. When it came time to pass the food, she scooped up a big helping of mashed potatoes and hurled them onto my plate. I almost broke into uncontrollable laugher. Great memory.

5. I forget the parties involved in this next memory. Again, I can’t say it’s really one of the best 10 memories ever, but it is memorable. It happened after school. Someone claimed that in the upstairs women’s restroom, the largest connected poop ever was lodged in a toilet and was unable to be flushed. Tell any high schooler that and there’s bound to be a crowd. So we run upstairs and, sure enough, a HUGE poop at least a foot long lay lodged in the toilet, half submerged, half exposed, similar to an iceberg.

6. My freshman year in drama was out of control. Nice was our teacher but he wasn’t really interested in teaching drama. So often times he would be out of the auditorium and in the debate room. Now anyone can tell you, leaving 11 students unattended anywhere is a disaster waiting to happen. And we managed to entertain ourselves. One form of entertainment involved a wheelchair and the declining slop of aisles in the auditorium. The game went like so: Sit in the wheelchair and someone will push you down the aisle and then let go sending you flying downward and into the stage. It was a good time. But the body can only take so many crashes into the stage. And it so happened that drama took place during lunch. So we’d often get volunteers from lunch who happened to be waiting in the halls to “take a ride.” We never knew that Jackass would exist 5 years later.

7. I cannot say I’m full mature now, but when I was a freshman in high school, I was especially immature. While on a debate trip to some St. Louis school, Nice decided we should stop at a jointed called “Ike’s Rode House.” Believe me, the service was as lousy as the name sounds. So Derek, Corey, Casey, and I decided we’d have to take matter into our own hands. We visited the Rode House bathroom and demonstrated our frustration at the service and the price of food. I pooped in a stall, decided not to flush, locked the stall door, and crawled out underneath the door. Someone else peeped on the wall and floor. Someone else emptied some extra soap in the sink. I’m sure water was left running and toilet paper was used for things other than my poo. In short, we trashed the bathroom. We were jerks. I feel bad. And someone had to clean up our mess. But it still makes me laugh while hiding my face.

8. Just before our senior year I turned 18. I wanted to take full advantage of my rights so I bought a lotto ticket, some cigarettes, and a porn. The guys and I were just driving around and happened to get pulled over for something silly...nothing serious. I think we’d stopped to talk to someone on a side street. Anyway, it was dark and I couldn’t see anything. I decided to use the headlights of the police car behind us to see my porn. Well let me tell you folks, I’m not trying to bell all “holier than thou”, but porn is gross. So when the cop came up and saw my porn, I offered it to him. He politely declined my offer with the response, “I got the real thing at home.” Well sir, thank you for sharing. And the women in the magazine were really skanky and doing some freaky stuff. If he really did have that at home, God bless him.


Alright, I know I only wrote about 8. But it’s late and I’m tapped for memories. And besides, this is the second entry in a week. Not bad at all.

Reader be warned. I am listening to Seven Mary Three while typing this entry. Therefore, my thoughts are probably charged with extra emotion and discontent aimed at the world.

I said last time that I would update with some information about my trip to Israel/Palestine. I just needed a little time to sort out everything I saw. Well, two weeks later and I’m still not sure I’ve got a good grasp on it all, but I’m trying. I’m getting ready to teach a whole quarter on discrimination, racism, and the holocaust for my sophomores. We’re going to read Night and I’m really looking forward to the opportunity to teach my students about tolerance, in some way or another. And while looking for some quality stories and/or quotes about discrimination, I came across this familiar quote. You may have heard it already:

First they came for the Communists, and I didn’t speak up, because I wasn’t a Communist.Then they came for the Social Democrats, and I didn’t speak up, because I wasn’t a Social Democrat.Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I didn’t speak up, because I wasn’t a Trade Unionist.Then they came for the Jews,and I didn't speak up,because I wasn't a Jew,Then they came for me, and by that time there was no one left to speak up for me.

- Pastor Martin Niemoller

For me, this poem made me reflect on the human condition. I think a lot of us often see social injustice all around us but for some reason we choose not to speak up. Sometimes we do, and that’s great. But I believe that many of us decide not to get involved if the speaking up involves more than signing an email petition. I think we think like Homer Simpson when he commonly says, “But what can I do? I’m only one man.” And then when we’re given options to create change, we reply with, “I just wish there was something I could do.”

And here’s the deal. Life sucks outside of Palestine, as well. While I was reduced to tears in the evenings after seeing all the poor, starving, begging children, reality says that there are another hundred million starving children in other parts of the world. So what if I give this one kid a one quarter/one dollar/one million dollars? The next neighborhood I visit is going to have another begging child who just wants to know he’s got a meal coming sometime that day.

I think why this trip so boggled my mind was because of this: I don’t think very many Americans have any clue about how bad it is and how it got so bad. Furthermore, I don’t think many Americans realize that we support the Palestinian ghettos. Be honest, did you know that America gives 1/5th of all foreign aide to Israel with ZERO strings attached? The money can go to food, to donkeys, to nuclear weapons, to spreading AIDS…there are no conditions. So naturally, outside of the US, Israel has the largest army and money to support its army. And while I do agree that Israel has a right to defend itself against Palestinian attacks, I think they have a responsibility to act rationally. And I don’t believe they are.

Have you heard about this Wall that Israel is building? Google the wall in Israel/Palestine. This is a monster of a Wall. It’s 25 feet tall, that’s a 1/4th a football field. The Wall is no different than the Berlin Wall, which ultimately fell, and I hope this one does as well. The Wall is being built on Palestinian land a good deal of time. Homes of thousands of Palestinians are being torn down so the Wall can come through, none Jewish. The Wall circles entire cities and leaves only one entrance/exit per city for Palestinians, none Jewish…it takes worker 2 or 3 hours just to get outside of the city. And all in the name of safety? But the truth is, more Palestinians than Jews are killed. In our two weeks of visiting, more than 80 Palestinians were killed, and most were women and children, none Jews. So I don’t know that I buy the “safety” issue that Israel pushes…it just doesn’t make sense.

What makes me angriest is that Americans don’t even know this is happening. Only 20 of the deaths were reported here in the states…20 of 80. I think I can safely say (as some expert has) that any Israeli authority figure can tell any Palestinian to do anything at any time (i.e. sit in the desert sun with no shade/water for three hours, stand in a corner and wait for more authorities, turn around and immediately go home, turn over any personal possessions for no reason) and get away with it. I’m just an outsider, but if anyone should have a right to be fearful, it should be the Palestinians who have been promised total evacuation from Israel/Palestine. From the outsider’s point of view, Israel has moved from the oppressed to the oppressor.

Ah!! I have to stop. I’m tired and my writing is getting even worse than normal. Maybe next time I’ll write my opinions on God’s Promise for Israel. Those change from before the trip to after, as well. Something I honestly never thought would happen.

I guess in conclusion, the world is full of opinions on this issue. But this issue doesn’t really need opinions, although those flow freely. What this issues needs is some peace and some sensible leaders. And some Americans to say enough is enough.

Deanna and I flew in this morning from Israel. It was an incredible week for a few reasons. I’m still in this processing stage, trying to make sense of what we saw and what it all means. I have to say (in no great detail) that my opinions on the Israel/Palestine conflict have changed pretty dramatically. I’ll write more about the trip later, and maybe in installments. I hope that the few people who still read this won’t mind.

Consequently, Ben Folds released a newish album on the Tuesday before we left for the trip. One of my favorite lines from the CD comes from the song “All You Can Eat”. The line was especially appropriate for this trip.
“God made us number one because he loves us the best. Well maybe He should go bless someone else for a while, give us a rest.”

I guess it’s powerful because I’ve actually heard people say things about God’s favor of the U.S.

Ben is the man.

I'm leaving on a jet plane. Don't know when I'll be back again....actually, yes I do. November 12th.

In five days Deanna and I will be heading to Israel for two weeks. Although the trip has been in the works for almost a year for Deanna, it’s been in the works for just a few weeks for me. As probably most of you know, Deanna is really interested in the Middle East and the peace process, or lack there of. She’s studied Hebrew and Arabic for several years now, studied abroad in Egypt, and would like to dedicate a few years of her life serving in mission somewhere in that area. I, on the other hand, have almost no exposure with the Middle East and the issues that surround it. This is pretty pathetic seeing how Deanna wants us to live there in less than two years. About two weeks ago a spot opened up on the trip she’s going on and I jumped at the opportunity. I had to jump through some rings and I’m doing a ton of work to make sure my students are taken care of for the eight school days that I will miss, but it’s all coming together. I was able to justify the time off from school by calling the trip an “academic opportunity.” I’m going to learn about the conflict between Israel and Palestine, and to teach my students about Middle Eastern culture and the holocaust via the books Night and Dawn by Wiesel. (By the way, both are fantastic. Night won the Nobel in ’86).

Anyway, I realize that the trip is kind of dangerous. And I realize that anything could happen but probably won’t. I’m trusting God to protect us and keep us safe. And if something should happen, I’ve had a great life and have no regrets. I’ve loved a lot of people and been loved by a lot of people. I’ve had a lot of fun and learned a great deal about who I am and what I believe. And maybe most importantly, I’ve loved God. I wish I could say there wasn’t a day that I didn’t doubt Him or wonder if it was all a hoax. That would be a lie and would only server to make myself look better, He’d know the truth. But I know that in all my life, God will be here for me. That’s what is so amazing about our Savior. He loves us unconditionally. And really, how many people in our lives can we count on for that kind of love? Not too many.

Anyway, I didn’t mean to make that some kind of deep, sad, possible final goodbye. I just meant to say that no matter what happens, I’m in God’s hands and that no one should worry. I'll try to post how the trip is going if I get a chance to use a computer. Please be praying for our trip.

Sweet River roll.