After talking to Derek online for a little bit, I decided at his suggestion that I should make a top 10 High School Memories List. As a disclaimer, I should explain that I actually don’t know if these memories are top 10 material or not, they just happen to be the funny things I remember off the top of my head. So without further ado, and in no particular order,
1. Debate Class. Derek Ozkal and I were sitting next to each other while Nice lectured. I farted a silent fart. Derek looked at me, knowing I’m guilty, and we both broke into uncontrollable laughter. Nice was annoyed and asked us what we’re laughing so heartedly at. In between laughing, Derek manages, “The…bird…hahaha…just flew….haha…into the window….” Nice bough the excuse and proceeded with class. We continued to laugh.
2. Everyday at lunch, Mr. Beshore would flirt with the freshman girls and everyone saw it. It was both annoying and disgusting. Perhaps most disturbing was the fact that he flirted with “The Flower” to whom a group of friends vowed to protect. (To protect the identities of the involved parties, I will disguise names.) Pan made a bumper sticker with the words “Pedophile” printed in nice, bold lettering. After watching the movie Payback at the Fox Theater, Pan, Joss, Roberto, Ransy, and I visited Mr. Beshore’s house. We quickly placed the bumper sticker on his car and fled. The next day the bumper sticker was no longer on Beshore’s car. In addition, Mr. Beshore steered clear of the freshman girls.
3. Mr. Daut made up bring in music for the class to listen to…not sure why. Anyway, at the time I was really into Korn and decided it was a good idea to play All In The Family. Of course there were a lot of curse words which were not allowed in class. So whenever a curse word came up, Dan and Casey would loudly cough to cover up the word. Eventually, half the class would cough to cover up the words. We were a well oiled machine by accident. Included in the memory I’ll also add my scribe notes memory….essentially the class log for the day. I was the last person to present the scribe notes and had to present them in some original manner. So I choose Sanitary Tissue, aka, “bleed pads.” Each note was written on a different pad. Again, Richard was without words.
4. My first high school play was Greetings. It was directed by Mr. Daut and stared Adam Bauer. Enough said, really. But I’ll say more. During the dinner scene, we’re all gathered around the table “eating.” We used real food that was cooked hours earlier. It was cold and probably never tasted good. Anyway, Hillier was also in the play and acted as my wife. When it came time to pass the food, she scooped up a big helping of mashed potatoes and hurled them onto my plate. I almost broke into uncontrollable laugher. Great memory.
5. I forget the parties involved in this next memory. Again, I can’t say it’s really one of the best 10 memories ever, but it is memorable. It happened after school. Someone claimed that in the upstairs women’s restroom, the largest connected poop ever was lodged in a toilet and was unable to be flushed. Tell any high schooler that and there’s bound to be a crowd. So we run upstairs and, sure enough, a HUGE poop at least a foot long lay lodged in the toilet, half submerged, half exposed, similar to an iceberg.
6. My freshman year in drama was out of control. Nice was our teacher but he wasn’t really interested in teaching drama. So often times he would be out of the auditorium and in the debate room. Now anyone can tell you, leaving 11 students unattended anywhere is a disaster waiting to happen. And we managed to entertain ourselves. One form of entertainment involved a wheelchair and the declining slop of aisles in the auditorium. The game went like so: Sit in the wheelchair and someone will push you down the aisle and then let go sending you flying downward and into the stage. It was a good time. But the body can only take so many crashes into the stage. And it so happened that drama took place during lunch. So we’d often get volunteers from lunch who happened to be waiting in the halls to “take a ride.” We never knew that Jackass would exist 5 years later.
7. I cannot say I’m full mature now, but when I was a freshman in high school, I was especially immature. While on a debate trip to some St. Louis school, Nice decided we should stop at a jointed called “Ike’s Rode House.” Believe me, the service was as lousy as the name sounds. So Derek, Corey, Casey, and I decided we’d have to take matter into our own hands. We visited the Rode House bathroom and demonstrated our frustration at the service and the price of food. I pooped in a stall, decided not to flush, locked the stall door, and crawled out underneath the door. Someone else peeped on the wall and floor. Someone else emptied some extra soap in the sink. I’m sure water was left running and toilet paper was used for things other than my poo. In short, we trashed the bathroom. We were jerks. I feel bad. And someone had to clean up our mess. But it still makes me laugh while hiding my face.
8. Just before our senior year I turned 18. I wanted to take full advantage of my rights so I bought a lotto ticket, some cigarettes, and a porn. The guys and I were just driving around and happened to get pulled over for something silly...nothing serious. I think we’d stopped to talk to someone on a side street. Anyway, it was dark and I couldn’t see anything. I decided to use the headlights of the police car behind us to see my porn. Well let me tell you folks, I’m not trying to bell all “holier than thou”, but porn is gross. So when the cop came up and saw my porn, I offered it to him. He politely declined my offer with the response, “I got the real thing at home.” Well sir, thank you for sharing. And the women in the magazine were really skanky and doing some freaky stuff. If he really did have that at home, God bless him.
Alright, I know I only wrote about 8. But it’s late and I’m tapped for memories. And besides, this is the second entry in a week. Not bad at all.
1. Debate Class. Derek Ozkal and I were sitting next to each other while Nice lectured. I farted a silent fart. Derek looked at me, knowing I’m guilty, and we both broke into uncontrollable laughter. Nice was annoyed and asked us what we’re laughing so heartedly at. In between laughing, Derek manages, “The…bird…hahaha…just flew….haha…into the window….” Nice bough the excuse and proceeded with class. We continued to laugh.
2. Everyday at lunch, Mr. Beshore would flirt with the freshman girls and everyone saw it. It was both annoying and disgusting. Perhaps most disturbing was the fact that he flirted with “The Flower” to whom a group of friends vowed to protect. (To protect the identities of the involved parties, I will disguise names.) Pan made a bumper sticker with the words “Pedophile” printed in nice, bold lettering. After watching the movie Payback at the Fox Theater, Pan, Joss, Roberto, Ransy, and I visited Mr. Beshore’s house. We quickly placed the bumper sticker on his car and fled. The next day the bumper sticker was no longer on Beshore’s car. In addition, Mr. Beshore steered clear of the freshman girls.
3. Mr. Daut made up bring in music for the class to listen to…not sure why. Anyway, at the time I was really into Korn and decided it was a good idea to play All In The Family. Of course there were a lot of curse words which were not allowed in class. So whenever a curse word came up, Dan and Casey would loudly cough to cover up the word. Eventually, half the class would cough to cover up the words. We were a well oiled machine by accident. Included in the memory I’ll also add my scribe notes memory….essentially the class log for the day. I was the last person to present the scribe notes and had to present them in some original manner. So I choose Sanitary Tissue, aka, “bleed pads.” Each note was written on a different pad. Again, Richard was without words.
4. My first high school play was Greetings. It was directed by Mr. Daut and stared Adam Bauer. Enough said, really. But I’ll say more. During the dinner scene, we’re all gathered around the table “eating.” We used real food that was cooked hours earlier. It was cold and probably never tasted good. Anyway, Hillier was also in the play and acted as my wife. When it came time to pass the food, she scooped up a big helping of mashed potatoes and hurled them onto my plate. I almost broke into uncontrollable laugher. Great memory.
5. I forget the parties involved in this next memory. Again, I can’t say it’s really one of the best 10 memories ever, but it is memorable. It happened after school. Someone claimed that in the upstairs women’s restroom, the largest connected poop ever was lodged in a toilet and was unable to be flushed. Tell any high schooler that and there’s bound to be a crowd. So we run upstairs and, sure enough, a HUGE poop at least a foot long lay lodged in the toilet, half submerged, half exposed, similar to an iceberg.
6. My freshman year in drama was out of control. Nice was our teacher but he wasn’t really interested in teaching drama. So often times he would be out of the auditorium and in the debate room. Now anyone can tell you, leaving 11 students unattended anywhere is a disaster waiting to happen. And we managed to entertain ourselves. One form of entertainment involved a wheelchair and the declining slop of aisles in the auditorium. The game went like so: Sit in the wheelchair and someone will push you down the aisle and then let go sending you flying downward and into the stage. It was a good time. But the body can only take so many crashes into the stage. And it so happened that drama took place during lunch. So we’d often get volunteers from lunch who happened to be waiting in the halls to “take a ride.” We never knew that Jackass would exist 5 years later.
7. I cannot say I’m full mature now, but when I was a freshman in high school, I was especially immature. While on a debate trip to some St. Louis school, Nice decided we should stop at a jointed called “Ike’s Rode House.” Believe me, the service was as lousy as the name sounds. So Derek, Corey, Casey, and I decided we’d have to take matter into our own hands. We visited the Rode House bathroom and demonstrated our frustration at the service and the price of food. I pooped in a stall, decided not to flush, locked the stall door, and crawled out underneath the door. Someone else peeped on the wall and floor. Someone else emptied some extra soap in the sink. I’m sure water was left running and toilet paper was used for things other than my poo. In short, we trashed the bathroom. We were jerks. I feel bad. And someone had to clean up our mess. But it still makes me laugh while hiding my face.
8. Just before our senior year I turned 18. I wanted to take full advantage of my rights so I bought a lotto ticket, some cigarettes, and a porn. The guys and I were just driving around and happened to get pulled over for something silly...nothing serious. I think we’d stopped to talk to someone on a side street. Anyway, it was dark and I couldn’t see anything. I decided to use the headlights of the police car behind us to see my porn. Well let me tell you folks, I’m not trying to bell all “holier than thou”, but porn is gross. So when the cop came up and saw my porn, I offered it to him. He politely declined my offer with the response, “I got the real thing at home.” Well sir, thank you for sharing. And the women in the magazine were really skanky and doing some freaky stuff. If he really did have that at home, God bless him.
Alright, I know I only wrote about 8. But it’s late and I’m tapped for memories. And besides, this is the second entry in a week. Not bad at all.
posted by Mike at 12/03/2006 12:31:00 AM
2 Comments:
I'm not done reading all of them yet, but I will have to correct you on the making of the bumper sticker. It was in fact Ransy who made it, quickly and while the hot teacher, whose name evades me, in Graphic Arts was not looking. Now on to the rest of them.
Randy..similar to Ransy??
I'm sorry I forget to read SERD; it's really quite entertaining but not conveniently delivered to my email inbox like Xanga. I will try to check more often. Your last entry was very interesting also. I hope I can talk more with both you and Deanna about your trip when I see you over Christmas.
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